Friday, April 4, 2008

Worthless Ch33vs

Good morning fellow dorks and ch33v0 whores. Let me introduce myself. My name is ghett0yeti. I am fucking ANGRY. For no particular reason, it just feels good. This will be my first of (hopefully) many posts regarding the ch33vs. And what better way to say "hi" than to begin at the opposite end of the ch33v0 spectrum that ZEBRA NINER started at and show the ch33v0z that make you look at your TV and say "Really?". Don't get me wrong, hearing that "bleep" and racking up those points are what we live for. But sometimes it seems like they're just giving them away. Not for doing anything spectacular, but mainly just for turning on your 360 and not burning the house down in the process. So, without further ado, here are some of the most worthless ch33v0z I've accrued.

Yes, that's right kids, I beat Rock Band on easy. That is the real-world equivalent of washing the dishes and not cutting your hand off with a fork. For those of you who haven't played Rock Band or Guitar Hero (all 8 of the entire world) that means I pressed a single button about 6 times during the entirety of the Bon Jovi song "Wanted Dead or Alive". I exert more energy putting my socks on.

I killed 10 people on Marvel Ultimate Alliance. 10 fucking people. That means I played this game for at LEAST 36 seconds. This game is a beat-em-up. It's Gauntlet with X-MEN characters instead of warriors and elves. To make it more than 3 minutes in this game without defeating 10 enemies would be utterly impossible.

HOLY SHIT! What wonders never cease. I called Uno...while playing Uno. Someone ch33v that man. It's a rare occasion when someone is left with one card in a game who's entire design is built around a person being left with one card.

This one pains me terribly. Portal has become my new favorite obsession. But, that doesn't make it immune to my harsh, alcohol fueled criticism. This one is for acquiring "the fully powered Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device." I was awarded 5G for doing something that MUST BE DONE in order to advance any further in the game. Go ahead, I challenge you to defeat that game without a portal device. It cannot be done. It would be on about the same level of possibility as getting through 1 stage of Super Mario Bros. without jumping.

So, thanks to all of the developers for hooking me up with some points. Because honestly, if it weren't for some of these ch33v0s, I'd still have 30 Gs that were acquired by Dirk using my tag when he's over here drinking my beer.

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