Wednesday, February 25, 2009

This Week In Ch33v0z, The Good Night Sweet Prince Edition

The flood gates of cheeviness have reopened. As promised, of course... take that Obama! Anyway, I'm finally finished with Prince of Persia and thank god... that game tested my last nerve. So, without further ado, this week in ch33vz.

To be continued…-Congratulations, the game is complete..the story has only just begun...-80G

Speed Demon-Congratulations, you finished the game in under 12 hours-10G

Precious Time-Congratulations, you know when to stop-10G

From Darkness…Light!-Congratulations, you have reimprisoned Ahriman-30G

Explorer-Congratulations, you have explored the whole land-20G

Saviour of the City of Light-Congratulations, the world has been healed-50G

Traitor's End-Congratulations, you have killed the Alchemist-20G

Climbing to New Heights!-Congratulations, you have found the highest place in the world-10G

Light Seeds Hoarder-Congratulations, you have collected 600 Light Seeds-10G

Now who's the Hunter?-Congratulations, you have killed the Hunter-20G

Speed Kill-Congratulations, you have killed 10 enemies before they spawned-10G

Light Seeds Harvester-Congratulations, you have collected 500 Light Seeds-10G

In Harmony-Congratulations, you have learned to work with Elika-10G

Alchemist Special-Congratulations, you can dominate the Alchemist-20G

Death of a Warrior King-Congratulations, you have killed the Warrior-20G

Throw Master-Congratulations, you have mastered throwing enemies-10G

It's finally over. Not that the game is incredibly long, but the fact that it's not awesome makes it seem much longer. So I manged to slowly trudge my way through the game, and now I'm free of it. I banish thee to Gamefly land!

There are only a few cheevos you can miss in this game. The only two on this list are Precious Time and Speed Demon .

Speed Demon
requires that you finish the game within 12 hours, which should be easy for most because you want to finish this game as quickly as possible... because it's crap.

Precious Time
can be attained near the end of the game. *spoiler warning* When Elika dies at the end of the game, after a short cut scene you will be holding her in your arms. Just stay still for 60 seconds, get up and do something. The ch33v0 will unlock on it's own.

So that's about it for this game. I managed to finish it, and I'm glad I don't have to look at it again. I will say that there was potential for a good game there, but overall it turned out to rate as crap in my opinion. The one saving grace in this entire game? The cheevo payoff at the end. It's pretty substantial as you can see, so if there is a small desire to see this game to the end.

Oh, speaking of the end of this game... COMPLETE SHIT. The end of the game made everything you do in the game, pointless. IT WAS ALL FOR NOTHING! Crap ending.

That's it for this week. I've had F.E.A.R. Files for two weeks and have yet to crack the seal on the envelope! Hopefully I will delve into that game this week. I'm currently awaiting my next Gamefly shipment, and hopefully crossing my fingers for a chance to play Afro Samurai. Also, next week is the Halo Wars release week, so expect to see something on that in the near future! Cheev it up, my fellow cheev hounds!

Thursday, February 19, 2009

This Week In Ch33v0z, Please Sir, Can I Have Some More?

Ok, Ok... I know I said there would be change. I know I said we would get out of this bad ch33vonomy. However, like any other good politician I was lying. So, we are still lacking a flow of sweet cheevz. I will be playing more this week, and I've got a few ideas to harvest some cheevz. Now I just need something called "free time"... I know it exists, I just have to find it.

Light Seeds Locator-Congratulations, you have collected 400 Light Seeds-10G

Warrior Special-Congratulations, you have mastered fighting the Warrior-20G

Light Seeds Provider-Congratulations, you have collected 300 Light Seeds-10G

Hunter Special-Congratulations, you can deflect the Hunter's attacks-20G

Death of a Concubine-Congratulations, you have killed the Concubine-20G

This game is a no brainer. Most of these cheevs unlock with normal gameplay. I do want to note two specific cheevz.

Hunter Special and Warrior Special require you to do a QTE(quick time event) and hit a button. Hit the A button + up or down on the Left stick when fighting the Warrior. Hit the Right Trigger to deflect the block of the Hunter to unlock that specific cheev.

So I'm really bored with games right now. Not only that, but I'm super busy. Couple that with the fact that Prince of Persia was a game made for brain dead babies and you've got formula for a lackluster cheevo grab. Don't worry cheev hounds, I will open the floodgates of the cheev dam!

Sunday, February 15, 2009

This Week In Ch33v0z, The Great Ch33vpression Edition

Ok, so this week my cheevo count is less than... impressive. That can be attributed to two things:
  1. I've been ridiculously busy with work and home life.
  2. When I DO play, I would rather play Call of Duty:WAW multiplayer
Anyway, now that I'm done making excuses, as you can see the cheevs did not flow. We are in a cheevonomic crisis. The cheevonomy is in peril, but as your Cheevident(it's like president for cheevos), I can promise that I will change that... it's time for a change... and change for the ch33v0.

Concubine Special-Congratulations, you kept your distance-20G

Light Seeds Collector-Congratulations, you have collected 200 Light Seeds-10G

Improviser-Congratulations, you used the environment to your advantage-10G

Deflect Master-Congratulations, you have mastered the art of Deflecting-20G

Good Company-Congratulations, you have an inquisitive mind-10G

So that's it for this week. This game could already by over with, but I'm taking my sweet ass time. It's ok, but don't buy it. EVER.

So that's it for this week. Short and not very sweet. The cheevo depression will end, as I vow to game this week! I'm also getting F.E.A.R. Files from Gamefly, so hopefully I will make some time to pop that game in. This week I plan to finish Prince Of Persia, and hopefully get something good from Gamefly! Until next week People of Ch33v0ria (still working on the name). Cheeveraria? Cheevugauy? Cheevbabwe? I'm open to suggestions.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

This Week In Ch33v0z, The Prince Of Persia Edition

Welcome fellow cheev-hounds, you have survived another week of sweet, sweet cheevin'. This week offered a welcome change of pace, I was hit with a new game from my Gamefly queue and bid a fond(not so fond) farewell to a sub-par game. Dig, my friends, dig deep into all the cheevy goodness.

Prince Of Persia

Block Master-Congratulations, you have mastered the art of Blocking-20G

Light Seeds Finder-Congratulations, you have collected 100 Light Seeds-10G

Getting to Know You-Congratulations, you are learning about Elika and her world-10G

Heal the Land-Congratulations, the first part of the world is healed-30G

Compass-Congratulations, Elika can now guide you-10G

Wallrunner-Congratulations, you have learned the basic moves-10G

Where's that Temple?-Congratulations, you have talked to Elika-10G

Saved!-Congratulations, you have unlocked Elika's saving ability-10G

Up against it-Congratulations, you have survived a close encounter-10G

Into the Storm…-Congratulations, you have started the adventure!-10G

So it's a new game! w00t for that! Though, as you might imagine it offers up some problems that I'm going to mention here.

First of all, you can't die. If you fall, you will be magically saved and returned to the last spot you were standing... which is handy if you get easily frustrated (that's me). So not much of a problem, but I can see all the other game nerds getting pissed about it's lack of "hardcoreness"... that's not a word.

The voice acting is crap! This game is supposed to be set in the middle east... Don't get me wrong, I'm glad it's in English, but they don't speak with accents! Well, let me restate that... they DO speak with accents, the same accent that Keanu Reeves has:

Prince- "Hey Elika, we should totally run up that wall over there... that would be frickin' sweet!"

Elika- "Like, totally! Let me just adjust my trendy hair and bare midriff and we'll do this shit!"

Prince- "This is tubular and gnarly, bro!"

Ok, so maybe I embellished a little bit, but you get my point.

The graphics a sweet though, and it's relatively enjoyable.

Finally, it gives up the cheevs like a cheap mexican hooker down at Gua Gua's Cantina. This game spreads them pretty easily, but it's guilty of having very unoriginal cheevo discription and the ulitmate sin of using the same picture for each cheev. Congratulations! Your is gay and so are the ch33v0 pics.

Do I have any tips for this game? Hell no! These cheevs just unlock. I actually got a cheevo for moving the left stick forward... WTF?

That's it folks! Pick up Prince of Persia(POP) if you want some easy cheevos are have kids that get frustrated easily... or if you get frustrated easily and act like a kid, then hit your mom with a taco. Anyway, look for some more POP cheevs next week, and hopefully a new game(hoping for Afro Samurai). Stay tuned, keep cheevin!

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Ch33v0 Hunt: The Vow Of Completion

The hunt for lost cheevoz continues! For your viewing pleasure, another small excerpt from my list of unharvested games. Some of these games got buried under the avalanche of fantastic games, and others where enjoyed but not harvested for their full potential. There were other games, that haven't even been played. Some day I will make my way back through them... mark my words, it will be done.

Mirror's Edge- This is a sweet ass game! I love this game, and I've beaten it. Though, I feel I got screwed out of my Test Of Faith cheevo, and I want to milk the rest of the speed run cheevz. This game has NOT been harvested to it's full potential. Be on the lookout for a couple of cheevos coming from this game soon.

Saint's Row- Not only is this one consider a "classic" by many gamers, it's also supposed to be really violent. That combination is gold in my world... gold. Yet I couldn't get into this game, and manged to unlock 2 cheevos. Pathetic right? Well fuck you for judging me! You don't know me!

Command And Conquer 3- I've always loved real time strategy(RTS) games! Of course, I've only played them on a computer and on the PS one. I have fond memories of playing Command And Conquer: Red Alert on my old PlayStation. So I expected to LOVE this game... yet, once I was in the game... there was no snap, no crackle and definitely no pop. Then again, who needs all that when you've got sweet cheevoz callin' ?

Spiderman 3- Well, what can I say? Swinging around NYC on a web is tons of fun, but the combat... total rubbish. You see what happened there? I used the word "rubbish", that's how much rubbish is in this game. GOD DAMN IT, I'm not even British!

Perfect Dark Zero- Yeah, it's older than shit... but that make this even worse. You see... I haven't even unlocked ONE SINGLE CHEEVO from this game. To be honest, it's a horrible game... just horrible. Anyone want to boost multiplayer cheevos?

Yet another short list of games that I own, which I haven't played enough of... or at all. Yes, it's sad and pathetic, but so is your mom. Keep your eyes peeled, I may play one of these games and unlock some sweet ass cheevs... or maybe not.