Friday, May 2, 2008

This Week In Ch33v0z, The Melting Pot Edition

Oh what a week! This week in ch33v0z has been one of the most bountiful in recent memory! The harvest was grand, and I'm going to share it with you. I've spent most of my week in sewers, on the mean streets, and in Liberty City. Fighting everything from foot soldiers to junkies... hell, even a couple of hookers and hot dog vendors. It wasn't always pretty, and not always fun... but damned if it wasn't worth it.


All-23 ch33v0z- 1000G

This game is part of my Dirty Ch33v0z showcase, too many ch33vz to name here, but check out the blog that's dedicated to it.

Condemned: Criminal Origins *spoiler ch33v0z*

Gold Game Completion Award-You finished the complete game of Condemned: Criminal Origins-10G

Revenge Award-You killed SKX-50G

Compassion Award-You did not shoot SKX-50G

I finally finished it! Very awesome game, kind of old, but definitely worth a play through. Well, that is unless you are a big pussy, and get scared and shit your pants. Man up bitches, this good game demands it.

Quick tip on the ch33v0z at the end, *spoiler alert* at the end of the game, you'll be faced with a choice: Kill the deranged serial killer X, exacting your revenge? Show restraint and compassion and let him live? So the real man version, or the pussy bitch version. So how do you maximize your ch33vage? Well, choose to kill him or spare him, then reload the last level and do the opposite. It will net you an extra 50G's!

Condemned 2: Bloodshot

Self Medicated-You've bandaged your wounds-25G

Sleuth-You earned a PERFECT with your investigative skills-10G

Anger Management-You've expressed a wide range of emotions-10G

Beat Cop-You've taken on a mission and survived-10G

Investigator-You took on the hardest and beat them at their game-25G

The Final Word-You completed your first environmental finishing move-10G

This game is cool. It has an improved combat system and better graphics than the first. Love the game, very scary. Not too many tips for these ch33v0z since most will unlock with normal play.

The Sleuth cheevo, perfect rating on a crime scene can be tricky, but if you take your time with your first crime scene you should unlock it. Try to distinguish exit wounds from entrance wounds, and use all your UV tools to make a detailed analysis.

Anger Management can be unlocked easily, but you have to pay attention. In the game, from time to time your character will be prompted to reply to a person or situation. This prompt will be in the form of a green "A" button similar to the one on your controller. To reply press the A button when prompted, but be quick, there is a time limit of just a couple of seconds!

Investigator cheevo just means you have to be a badass, like me. Beat one level on the hardest difficulty. Just start there, if you are a real man.

Grand Theft Auto IV

Lowest Point-You completed the mission "Roman's Sorrow"-5G

Cut Your Teeth-You were successfully promoted up a rank in multiplayer-5G

Top Of The Food Chain-You successfully killed 20 players with a pistol in a ranked deathmatch-10G

It'll Cost Ya-You made a taxi trip from one island to another without skipping-5G

Pool Shark-You beat a friend at pool-10G

Fed The Fish-You completed the mission "Uncle Vlad"-5G

Driving Mr. Bellic-You unlocked the special ability of Roman's taxi-10G

One Hundred And Eighty-You scored 180 with 3 darts-10G

Warm Coffee-You were invited into your girlfriend's house-5G

Off The Boat-You have completed the first mission-5G

The day has come, and so have the sweet ch33v0z. GTA 4 is released and the ch33v0z are being harvested... slowly it seems. GTA 4 is handing out it's ch33v0z rather sparingly. The ones you do get in the beginning aren't worth a whole lot, but this is a nod to HOT COFFEE in there. It's a great game nonetheless, but this is THE CHEEVOLUTION!!!!

Mini games offer ch33vz that are folded into the normal gameplay. The Pool Shark ch33v0 only required that I win(a feat in itself) one game of pool. The One Hundred And Eighty cheev0 requires you to get 180 points with just three darts. After doing the math in my head(for about an hour) I figured out that you just need to hit the triple 20 score on the board three times in a row, just hit it HERE.

The It'll Cost Ya ch33v0 can't be unlocked until you have opened up at least one island in Liberty City. The first will be Bohan. Grab a taxi, set the destination and make sure you don't skip the ride. Takes a minute, but it's not bad. Get up, go do something... or enjoy the sights of Liberty City!

The two cheevos I unlocked for ranked multiplayer weren't that hard. You'll probably unlock both in your fist match, I did. Just choose or host a team death match, make sure it's set for more than 10 minutes. Now play. Your default gun is a pistol, so that's what you'll be doing most of your killing with. Once you hit 20, the Top Of The Food Chain ch33v unlocks, bada bing, bada boom. The Cut Your Teeth cheev will happen in the first or second ranked match.

That's your weekly recap. The ch33vz were sweet, and fresh... just how I like them. You'll excuse me if there isn't much diversity in the weeks to come, I have a suspicion that my ch33v0 glass will be full of GTA for a while. Speaking of that, is there a ch33v0 for killing hookers that you've paid for sex? Hmmm...


ghett0yeti said...

Oh son. Dirkistopher brought this by this morning for a preview. Holy shit was that fun. The online multiplayer with rockets...fucking priceless. And drinking and driving? Who knew it was so much fun? I'm usually trying to concentrate instead of enjoying it.

I may have to pick this one up. I never really played too much GTA, but this was just too fan-fucking-tastic to pass up.

CyanideChrist33 said...

Larry? I'm dissapointed in you.. Any self respecting occasional drinker should know about the triple 20.. Unless you just go to the bar to stare at women creepily over the rim of your pilsner glass instead of doing constructive things, like playing darts or pool. Awesome post, Great Job! See ya online champ!


Well, I'm not much of a darts player.

Aside from that time I was in a bar called "Dodge City" at the tender age of 13. I was under the tutelage of a master of darts, a 40-something drunk woman. She wore glasses thicker than Ghett0yeti's and hair just as short. Her grip was strong, and firm on my ass... that's right, she felt me up.

So I've stayed away from the darts. Seems it is the sport of molesters.

In my drinking years, I spent more time "In Da Club" getting my groove on with the ladies, and not too much time in the dark corners of the local pub.