Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Ch33v0z In A Minute!

You want ch33v0z? You want violence? You want violent ch33v0z? I bet you want them right fucking now, huh? You've come to the right place my friends. I've got a surefire way to get 3 cheevos in 10 minutes or less, netting you a hefty 75 points and satiating your lustful desire for cruelty and violence.

Army of Two

Fear is The Mind Killer-Spend 1 minute straight at full Aggro-45G You can get this one in the tutorial mission in the first part of the game. You'll get to a section with a turret and the tutorial will describe aggro and let you try it out. Take this opportunity to live an American dream and unleash a shit storm of gunfire on the turret. Once your aggro meter hits full red, keep firing for a full minute. Bam, ch33v0 unlocked, teh w00t. If you are playing with a friend, take turns getting yours (just like that time with the hooker in Burma). Click here for the video.


Shot-putter-Throw any object (other than a grenade) 205 feet or more-10G How many times have you wanted to beat a person to unconsciousness and then throw them off a bridge? Like every fucking day, right? Well, that's how your going to get this cheevo. Just grab a person, throw them off a bridge and then come home and do the same thing on Crackdown. One important detail, you must throw them into a body of water, any body of water. Stupid pedestrians, with their stupid right of way.

Hitman: Blood Money

47 kills-A mission has been completed with precisely 47 kills-20G If you are like me, you've probably got a hard on by now... but here is the money shot. Kill exactly 47 people in one mission. You can do this on any level, but I found the second mission to be best suited. Shoot them, strangle them, drag them into neat little piles if you want. It's so fun, and exciting... no, not exciting, what's the word I'm looking for? Oh, arousing... that's it. One tip on this one, count them out as you kill them. If you get 48 or you only kill 46 you won't unlock this cheevo. If you get into a blood lust, and can't keep track, just kill close to 47 and use the in-game save. Then, finish the level and see how close you are and reload the save point, you may only need to go back for 2 or 3 people.

There you go, satisfy your need for sweet cheevos and your need for senseless violence. Plus, it can be done in 10 minutes! 75 points, and no real need for skill needed, just a healthy obsession with killing.

1 comment:

ghett0yeti said...

You know...I was going to leave it alone. But the metal in me will not subside.

"Fear Is The Mind Killer"

Fear Factory's second album. More of a remix of "Soul Of A New Machine" than new album. But a Fear Factory album nonetheless. Which leads to that shit storm/cult classic "Dune". Which leads to "Litany Of Fear", which goes to Vader...which makes me think I spend far too much time on the internet while listening to death metal.

Good post. High five.