This Week In Ch33v0z, The Burnout Assault Portal Edition

In honor of the holiday this week, I'm putting this up one day early. God Bless America, for the freedom to work the ch33v0z is my right!

I've been pretty busy these last couple of weeks... since no one is willing to pay me to play video games and blog about the sweetest cheevos, I have what some people call a "job". Even with my hectic schedule, I was able to wrangle up a few cheevoz for you folks to enjoy! I have two new games and I even dug deep in the vault and grabbed a couple of Orange Box cheevz!



Burnout Paradise

Perfect Rage-Got 10 Takedowns in Road Rage without Wrecking-5G





Spinnin' Around-Got your first 360 Flatspin-10G





Must Try Harder-Got your B Class License-40G





It's Showtime-Showtime Road Rule beaten on East Crawford Drive-10G





The Show Must Go On-Got a x10 multiplier in Showtime-20G





Rising From the Ashes-Repaired your car at critical damage in a Road Rage event-10G




Parallel Park-Power Park achieved with a 100% rating-20G





Underachiever-Got your C Class License-30G





Duckin' and Weavin'-Won a Marked man without being taken down-10G





Learning to Fly-Successfully landed 5 SUPERJUMPS-10G





Misdemeanor-5 Billboards collected-10G





Great Start-Won a Race-10G





Bottom of the Class-Got your D Class License-20G





Off the Beaten Path-25 Smashes collected-10G





Lookin' Good-Repaired your first wrecked car-5G





I expected a cheev grab when I rented this game, but it's actually pretty fun(if you disregard the terrible DJ Atomica, who I want to kill... and who never shuts up)! It's really beautiful, and the crash animations are fantastic. Oh, and road rage is the only event that's worth anything in the game, including the races and stunt runs.

It's all pretty much there in the cheevo descriptions. The licenses are attained an winning a specified number of events. Each time you get a new license, you'll be notified on how many events you need to win to advance to the next license. You also get a notification with each victory. Off The Beaten Path, Great Start, Misdemeanor, Lookin' Good, and Learning To Fly will all just happen during normal gameplay. Just drive around, and those will unlock the first time you play.

Parallel Park ch33v is a tricky one, it will probably require many tries. You have to e-brake slide into the space between to cars, creating a snazzy parallel parking job. What finally worked for me, and has worked consistently is e-braking into a spot at about a 45 degree angle, from about a lane away. As long as you don't smash the cars you are trying to park between, you should be good to go.

It's Showtime and The Show Must Go On aren't very hard, but they are rather boring. Activate showtime mode by pressing right and left bumper, and beat the specified score to get both cheevoz. Just do your first showtime on Crawford Rd(just north of the very first junkyard) and get both at once.

Duckin' And Weavin' , Rising From The Ashes, and Perfect Rage are more about luck than skill. I can't really give you tips.

Spinning Around took me the longest. It's basically pulling an e-brake slide right before you hit a jump. This will cause your car to spin in the air, a.k.a. flatspin. You have to hit a 360 before this one unlocks. I recommend the ramps at the beach, near the first junkyard. Use a car that has high marks for stunts. Be aware of the surrounding, because crashing into something or touching another object stops your flat spin.


The Orange Box: Portal

Fruitcake-Beat four Portal advanced maps-20G





Cupcake-Beat two Portal advanced maps-10G





I decided to get back into a little Portal this week. Remembering what a bitch the advanced maps were, and then also remembering that I had the official game guide for the Orange Box, I went ahead and snagged these two. I'm sure there are plenty of videos that you can use, but I can't put an endorsement on them.

Assault Heroes

Annihilator-Kill more than 85% of the total enemies in a zone-10G





Tricked Out-Max out all of the vehicle power-ups-20G





Exterminator-Defeat the giant spider-10G





After the greatness that is WOTB: Commando 3, I have been on a run of uni-directional shooters. I need them... I want them. So I'm working my way through the vast selection of SHMUPS on the Arcade and I came across this one. First of all, it's listed as a greatest hit, which means it's only $5. Secondly, it has CO-OP!!! If you know me, you know I loves me some co-op... fo' sho'!

I got the first 3 in the in the very first zone. I played it on Hard, which I've come to find out is NOT necessary. Apparently you can play the game, and get EVERY cheevo on EASY!!!! You might think this is a cheap move, but I'm all about the sweetest cheevos.

So this is an open call to anyone that reads this blog: I want to get 100% on these cheevz and I need a co-op partner! All are welcome! All are welcome!I'm still working on my Timeshift cheevz, that game is proving to rather difficult. Hopefully I'll have some news on that one next week, and hopefully I'll have some co-op cheevz for Assault Heroes! Stay strong my brothers in cheevz... stay strong. Happy Independence Day!