Thursday, August 21, 2008

This Week In Ch33v0z, The Hack-N-Slash And Vehicular Warfare Edition

New games, new games, and MORE new games! This week has been a flood of new games, and I'm just trying to keep my head above water. This week's list contains 3 NEW games! Frontlines: Fuel of War and Conan from Gamefly, and the recently purchased Too Human! Lots of ch33v0z, lots of new games, and lots of w00t!

Battlefield: Bad Company

Forest Ranger-Knocked down 1000 trees-15G

Vehikill-Got at least one kill in every vehicle-20G

Leatherneck-Played 100 online matches-25G

The love affair continues, Battlefield A.K.A. My new favorite shooter has provided more cheevoz!

Leatherneck and Forest Ranger aren't hard to unlock, they will just take some time.

Vehikill can be unlocked by getting one kill in each vehicle(Helicopter, tank, boat and jeep) in an online versus match.

Too Human

Through the Halls-Hall of Heroes has been completed (all tokens collected) in Single Player or Online Coop Play-80G

Unstoppable: Hall of Heroes-Hall of Heroes has been completed without dying-10G

Unrelenting Rage-Achieved a 100-hit combo-10G

Blooded of the Aesir-Reached Level 5-10G

Death from Above-Kill 100 enemies with air combat-10G

A Valorous Deed-Defeat a polarity enemy-5G

NORN Novice-First Cyberspace Well has been activated-5G

First Step toward Destiny-First Skill Point assigned-5G

Serve Em Up-The player must juggle an enemy which is then killed in air combat by their teammate-10G

New game!!!!! I have been waiting for this game for a while, and I finally have it! Dungeon crawling, RPG-action with all the loot drops and EXP grinding that one nerd can handle! Very awesome game, and I can't wait to milk all the sweet ass cheevz from it.

All but one of the ch33vz I unlocked will be acquired through normal play. That's the Unstoppable: Hall of Heroes ch33v0. This can be done, it just requires you to be careful while playing each level... but who wants to do that!?

Frontlines: Fuel Of War

History Repeats-Complete the final mission on normal difficulty or higher-15G

Living Quarter-Complete the sixth mission on normal difficulty or higher-15G

Living Quarter - Stopwatch-Complete the sixth mission in under 25 minutes-25G

The Mountain King-Complete the fifth mission on normal difficulty or higher-15G

Graveyard-Complete the fourth mission on normal difficulty or higher-15G

Anvil-Complete the third mission on normal difficulty or higher-15G

Captains of Industry-Complete the second mission on normal difficulty or higher-15G

Darkness Falls-Complete the first mission on normal difficulty or higher-15G

What can I say about Frontlines: Fuel of War? It's a very "Battlefield" type of game, in that there are vehicles and large maps. That's pretty much were the similarities end... It's not a horrible game, but it relies heavily on vehicles, which isn't always my cup of tea. I like to be able to choose what I want to do, and the maps are so huge in this game that you NEED a ride to wherever you plan to go. Not to mention, there can be up to 100 players in one game... just too much for my tastes. Finally, the campaign is INCREDIBLY short and rather boring. I was able to beat it in an afternoon. All the cheevz I unlocked can be done by completing the campaign on normal difficulty or higher, I thought there might be one for the hardest difficulty so that's what I played it on... there is not. Make sure you do this on normal, so you can speed run through the game and snag those cheevz too.


Dragon Slayer-Defeat the Sand Dragon in the lost city of Shem and obtain The Ward of the Earth-10G

Treasure Seeker-Find 5 treasure chests-10G

Defeat Cleaver's Army-Defeat the Bone Cleaver and his army in Barachan Isles and obtain The Ward of Fire-10G

Slice 'n Dice-100 dismemberments-10G

Hands-On-5 Grapple Kills-10G

Losing His Mind-Decapitate a captain with a shield-20G

Free Fall-Kill an enemy by death fall-10G

Shish Kabob-Impale an enemy-10G

Noble Conan-Save a Maiden-10G

Ok, let me preface this by saying this is a total ch33v0-grab. The graphics are horrible (save the death sequences), the story is ridiculous, and the enemy AI are crap. This game is also guilty of a mortal sin, the same cheevo-tile for EVERY FUCKING CHEEVO. That's lazy and stupid. The one saving grace of this game? The graphic violence(and nudity, check it peeps!). I LOVE that you can slice a person in two... and watch their entrails flail about! Beheading and dismemberment galore! I LOVE that SO much... hmmm, I seem to be aroused. Anyway, all the ch33vz in this one are unlocked through normal play!

Something I have to comment on, is the nudity. It's ridiculous and hilarious. You'll stumble upon a half naked "maiden", free her, and then be offered sex. The first line I heard from this maiden was, "Thank you! I want you to crush me with your manhood!", she then bent over. So, yeah... not a kid's game. I spent about 15 minutes trying to activate the "manhood crushing" button, but appearently there isn't any... fuck.

So that's it for this week in cheevz, I still have much to harvest and I'll be working dilligently to squeeze what I can. Next week brings even more games, with the release of the highly anticipated Castle Crashers and the highly explosive Mercenaries 2: World in Flames. I'll be financially barren, but my cup will runneth over with sweet cheevoz.

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