This Week In Ch33v0z, The Grand Tetris Auto Evolution Edition

I've done it. I've finally finished GTA4! There are still many ch33v0z that have yet to be harvested, but I was able to take the GTA disc out of my Xbox and play a few others. Hell, I even got a few cheevz that aren't GTA related! Say hello to Tetris! Yes, that old school game is still fun as hell, and the ch33v0z are ripe and ready for the picking!


Grand Theft Auto IV



You Won!-You have completed the story-60G




That Special Someone-You completed the mission "That Special Someone"-10G




Rolled Over-You managed 5 car rolls in a row from one crash-30G




King of QUB3D-You beat the high score in QUB3D-15G




Assassin's Greed-You completed all 9 assassin missions-20G




Liberty City (5)-Your friends all like you above 90%-20G




Half Million-You have amassed a fortune of $500,000-55G





Chain Reaction-You exploded 10 vehicles in 10 seconds-20G




Sightseer-You have taken all variations of the helicopter tours of Liberty City-5G




Under The Radar-You flew under all the main bridges in the game-40G




Gracefully Taken-You completed the mission "I'll Take Her"-10G




That's How We Roll!-You unlocked the special ability of Brucie's helicopter ride-10G




Order Fulfilled-You completed all 10 Exotic Export orders-10G




Dial B For Bomb-You unlocked the special ability of Packie's car bomb placement-10G



I had a pretty good harvest this week from GTA4, raking in around 315 gamerscore. This game doesn't hand out the ch33vz very readily, but when you do get them, they are so much sweeter. Some of the cheevz come from normal gameplay (story and side missions), but only a few will automatically unlock.

Dial B For Bomb, That's How We Roll!, and Liberty City (5) will be unlocked by spending time with your friends, and getting their friendship percentage up over 90%.

Sightseer can be unlocked by taking all 6 helicopter tours. They cost $150, and you can skip them by pressing the "A" button(although, the pilot is hilarious). The helitours can be found on the water line in South Algonquin.

Under The Radar is a relatively easy ch33v0. You can get it in about 10-15 minutes, but if you screw up, you could be swimming for 5 of those minutes. Just take your time, adjust your view, and slowly glide under each bridge. Here is a map of all the bridge locations. Another tip, once you pass under a bridge you'll receive a notification, hit start to look at the map and you'll see all other needed locations. Also, the game doesn't save the locations unless you do a game save, so do them all at once, or save before you quit.

Chain Reaction is easier than you might imagine. You'll need two things, grenades and a bus. Make sure you have at least 5 or 6 grenades, and then go to Star Junction (Times Square) in Algonquin and steal a bus(there seems to be a lot of them parked there). Drive to the Algonquin Expressway and park your bus sideways in a narrow spot on the bridge. Make sure that it's a tight fit, so that no cars can drive around you. Wait until 10 cars pile up, start at the bus, and run down the line of cars... dropping grenades (don't stop running!). That should unlock your cheevo pretty quickly!

King Of Qub3d is attained by playing one of the arcade games found around the city. They are pretty popular, but I can only think of 2 or 3. One is located in the strip club in Bohan, the other in the Modo clothing store in North Algonquin. Just play for 10 minutes or so, and beat the high score of 10,000 points. It's really easy, it just takes a few minutes.

Finally, Rolled Over is one of the more entertaining ch330z to attempt. It's not OVERLY difficult, but it can take a few tries (4 for me). Get yourself a police car or taxi car (they are fast and relatively durable) and head to Francis International Airport. Gain speed on the runway, and veer towards the grassy section in between the runway and the tarmac. There are some yellow warning signs that are shaped like triangles(how convenient). Aim for those at high speed, hitting the "A" button and turning left or right just as you hit the jump. This should only take a few tries, and if you wreck your car there are plenty of police cruisers chasing you around, any of them would work. Here is a video to help you on your way.


Tetris Evolution

Old Skool Back to Back-Scored 2 Tetrises in 2 drops playing Marathon-50G




Ludicrous speed-Cleared a line on Level 15-30G




T-Spin Deluxe-Pulled off a T-Spin 2-Line Clear playing Marathon-30G




Rollin On Spinnas-Pulled off the infamous T-Spin playing Marathon-15G




Back to Back and Back Again-Did three Tetrises or T-Spins (Single or Double) in a row (Back to Back to Back) playing Marathon-25G




It's fucking Tetris. If you don't know how to play Tetris, then I don't know what to tell you. I will give you one tip for something that would only be known to Tetris nerds. This is a video of how to complete a T-spin. Figuring this basic(retarded) move out will get you a Back to Back and Back Again, T-spin Deluxe, and Rollin On Spinnas.

That is it for this week cheevoholics! I'm currently gearing up for another go at Condemned 2, more Tetris Evolution, Rainbow Six: Vegas (1) and working on some of those sweet ass cheevz that GTA4 is still denying me.

I <3 Ch33v0z: Crackdown

The sleeper hit of 2007, Crackdown offered some of the most unique, fun, and colorful(they look like candy) cheevos that I've ever seen in a game. This game will give you points for completing normal missions, that unlock with story progress, but also quirky cheevz that are just plain fun(and brutal!). Here are some of my favorite and most entertaining cheevoz:

High Flyer-Make your way to the top of the Agency Tower-10G This can be one of the most annoying cheevos to attain. If anyone has ever attempted it, you understand the "controller throwing rage" that missing a ledge and falling to your death will cause. However, it's a rather original cheevo, and I enjoyed adding it to my collection.


Base Jumper-Jump from the top of the Agency Tower and land in the water below-10G Ok, this one is tied in with the High Flyer cheevo. Now, it may sound easy, but I can tell you that it doesn't always work. If you've had trouble with this one, you hate that stupid fucking ledge at the top... the one that catches your fucking foot, and sends you smashing into the pavement below. Then you have to restart the whole damn climb again... from the beginning! Wait... I thought these were supposed to be fun ch33v0z.


Roadkill King-Mow down and massacre 175 gang members while driving-15G It's violent, and you would probably do it even if it wasn't a cheevo. As anyone who has played a sandbox game would know, running over pedestrians(innocent or not) is fun as hell!


Shot-putter-Throw any object (other than a grenade) 205 feet or more-10G Recently featured in our Ch33v0z in a Minute blog, it's a quick 10 points, but it's also quite brutal. You might say, "Well it says throw an object, how is that brutal?". We all know that "object" is going to be a person, not only that, the cheevo tile features a person being tossed high into the air. It's fun to pick up the lifeless body of an innocent and toss them as far as the eye can see!


Body Juggler-Use explosives to keep a body up in the air for 10 seconds-20G Pretty self explanatory, and a hole lot of fun to do. The rag doll mechanics of this game make this particular cheevo one of the most comical.



Body Armor-Use the Harpoon gun to attach 5 gang member corpses to a single vehicle-10G There is something sick and wrong about this one, and that's why I love it. It's so much fun to cruise around town with corpses dangling from your vehicle. Tip: Find a group of gang members, start a battle... and circle around them to get the enemy in between you and the car.

Global Impact-Kill 15 gang members using the Observatory Globe-15G Original, very fun, and worth every point. Use your character's super human strength to lug around a huge replica of the globe, and launch it at enemies! It can be a little tricky to find, but here is the location.

What's great about this game, aside from it's gameplay, is that the ch33v0z will make you play it in a way that you wouldn't have before. You are asked to do strange things, or things that never came to mind before, and you are rewarded. It adds another element to the game aside from the standard gameplay, and it's co-op features only double the cheevo fun. Give this game a try, and enjoy the entertaining and sweet cheevoz.

Author's note: PLEASE MAKE A CRACKDOWN 2!!!!

This Week In Ch33v0z, The Grand Theft Auto IV Edition

So it's not a big surprise, I've been playing Grand Theft Auto 4 all week. The game hasn't even left my disc drive, and I don't plan on taking it out anytime soon. I've done a lot with my time in Liberty City, I've done a lot of bad things there. I've picked up hookers, stolen hundreds of cars, sold drugs and other countless crimes. I've killed MANY people, I've murdered policeman, innocent women, and even one preacher (not before knocking the bible out of his hand). I've enjoyed every minute of it, and I've been rewarded with sweet cheev0z. Here is this weeks haul:

Grand Theft Auto IV

Courier Service-You completed all 10 package delivery jobs-10G





Impossible Trinity-You completed the mission "Museum Piece"-10G





Wheelie Rider-You completed a 500 foot wheelie on a motorbike-30G





Walk Free-You successfully lost a 4 star wanted rating-50G





One Man Army-You survived a 6 star wanted level for a full 5 minutes-40G





Full Exploration-You unlocked all the islands-20G





Retail Therapy-You unlocked the special ability of buying guns from Little Jacob-10G




As you can see from this weeks rather slim bounty, GTA4 doesn't exactly give up the sweet cheevs as well as some other games might, but it's a fun game and worth the effort. Most of the cheevos that I've unlocked can be acquired by normal play of the story mode.

One Man Army can be one of the hardest ch33v0z or one of the easiest ch33voz to gain. I guess that's all up to you. The game developers probably imagined you scoring this cheevo further along in the game, using all of your weaponry and skill to hold out against the entire police force. This video shows a way to accomplish it, rather early in the game and with limited weaponry, but still in a more traditional way. Of course, you can always do it the easy way (like me). Make sure you have at least one locked island (or load an early save). Head over to the helicopter tours, steal a chopper and fly into a locked zone. This well get you an instant 6 star wanted rating. Fly around for 5 minutes, and Voilà 40 point cheev unlocked. There are a few other ways, pick the one which suits you best.

Walk Free is a fun ch33v0, it involves getting the cops PISSED off and losing their asses with some sweet driving skills. You have to get a 4 star wanted level, which can itself be a difficult thing to do. The easiest and safest way to obtain an instant 4 star, is to make your way onto the tarmac of Francis International Airport in East Broker. As soon as you hit the runway, you get a four star rating, but you also get a great straight away to gain some speed. You can even lose the cops on this same runway! Here is a video for a little help.

Wheelie Rider is another relatively easy cheev that can also be done while at the airport. Basically you need to execute a 500 foot wheelie on a motorcycle. It's actually pretty easy, and can be done on a sport bike (pcj600) or on a scooter (faggio), but not on one of the Harley-style bikes(they won't do a wheelie, because they are for bitches!). Grab your bike or scooter and head over to the airport. Use that long runway and lack of traffic to get your wheelie just right. Don't mind the cops, they shouldn't cause too much trouble for you while on a bike. Quick tip if you are having trouble holding the wheelie: hold back on the stick, while pressing the gas intermittently. Here is another video for your viewing pleasure.

The rest are basic story plots and side missions that come with normal play, but these three will net you a hefty 120 points and can be done in about 5-10 minutes. Go forth and harvest.

That's pretty much it for this week, look forward to more ch33vz from GTA 4 and probably not much else. I'll try to get a little variety in there for you next week, but if you are playing GTA you know what a daunting, and unrealistic goal that is. Have fun and grind those ch33v0z!

Ch33v0z In A Minute!

You want ch33v0z? You want violence? You want violent ch33v0z? I bet you want them right fucking now, huh? You've come to the right place my friends. I've got a surefire way to get 3 cheevos in 10 minutes or less, netting you a hefty 75 points and satiating your lustful desire for cruelty and violence.

Army of Two

Fear is The Mind Killer-Spend 1 minute straight at full Aggro-45G You can get this one in the tutorial mission in the first part of the game. You'll get to a section with a turret and the tutorial will describe aggro and let you try it out. Take this opportunity to live an American dream and unleash a shit storm of gunfire on the turret. Once your aggro meter hits full red, keep firing for a full minute. Bam, ch33v0 unlocked, teh w00t. If you are playing with a friend, take turns getting yours (just like that time with the hooker in Burma). Click here for the video.

Crackdown

Shot-putter-Throw any object (other than a grenade) 205 feet or more-10G How many times have you wanted to beat a person to unconsciousness and then throw them off a bridge? Like every fucking day, right? Well, that's how your going to get this cheevo. Just grab a person, throw them off a bridge and then come home and do the same thing on Crackdown. One important detail, you must throw them into a body of water, any body of water. Stupid pedestrians, with their stupid right of way.

Hitman: Blood Money

47 kills-A mission has been completed with precisely 47 kills-20G If you are like me, you've probably got a hard on by now... but here is the money shot. Kill exactly 47 people in one mission. You can do this on any level, but I found the second mission to be best suited. Shoot them, strangle them, drag them into neat little piles if you want. It's so fun, and exciting... no, not exciting, what's the word I'm looking for? Oh, arousing... that's it. One tip on this one, count them out as you kill them. If you get 48 or you only kill 46 you won't unlock this cheevo. If you get into a blood lust, and can't keep track, just kill close to 47 and use the in-game save. Then, finish the level and see how close you are and reload the save point, you may only need to go back for 2 or 3 people.

There you go, satisfy your need for sweet cheevos and your need for senseless violence. Plus, it can be done in 10 minutes! 75 points, and no real need for skill needed, just a healthy obsession with killing.

This Week In Ch33v0z, The Melting Pot Edition

Oh what a week! This week in ch33v0z has been one of the most bountiful in recent memory! The harvest was grand, and I'm going to share it with you. I've spent most of my week in sewers, on the mean streets, and in Liberty City. Fighting everything from foot soldiers to junkies... hell, even a couple of hookers and hot dog vendors. It wasn't always pretty, and not always fun... but damned if it wasn't worth it.


TMNT

All-23 ch33v0z- 1000G





This game is part of my Dirty Ch33v0z showcase, too many ch33vz to name here, but check out the blog that's dedicated to it.

Condemned: Criminal Origins *spoiler ch33v0z*

Gold Game Completion Award-You finished the complete game of Condemned: Criminal Origins-10G




Revenge Award-You killed SKX-50G





Compassion Award-You did not shoot SKX-50G




I finally finished it! Very awesome game, kind of old, but definitely worth a play through. Well, that is unless you are a big pussy, and get scared and shit your pants. Man up bitches, this good game demands it.

Quick tip on the ch33v0z at the end, *spoiler alert* at the end of the game, you'll be faced with a choice: Kill the deranged serial killer X, exacting your revenge? Show restraint and compassion and let him live? So the real man version, or the pussy bitch version. So how do you maximize your ch33vage? Well, choose to kill him or spare him, then reload the last level and do the opposite. It will net you an extra 50G's!

Condemned 2: Bloodshot

Self Medicated-You've bandaged your wounds-25G





Sleuth-You earned a PERFECT with your investigative skills-10G





Anger Management-You've expressed a wide range of emotions-10G





Beat Cop-You've taken on a mission and survived-10G





Investigator-You took on the hardest and beat them at their game-25G





The Final Word-You completed your first environmental finishing move-10G




This game is cool. It has an improved combat system and better graphics than the first. Love the game, very scary. Not too many tips for these ch33v0z since most will unlock with normal play.

The Sleuth cheevo, perfect rating on a crime scene can be tricky, but if you take your time with your first crime scene you should unlock it. Try to distinguish exit wounds from entrance wounds, and use all your UV tools to make a detailed analysis.

Anger Management can be unlocked easily, but you have to pay attention. In the game, from time to time your character will be prompted to reply to a person or situation. This prompt will be in the form of a green "A" button similar to the one on your controller. To reply press the A button when prompted, but be quick, there is a time limit of just a couple of seconds!

Investigator cheevo just means you have to be a badass, like me. Beat one level on the hardest difficulty. Just start there, if you are a real man.

Grand Theft Auto IV

Lowest Point-You completed the mission "Roman's Sorrow"-5G





Cut Your Teeth-You were successfully promoted up a rank in multiplayer-5G





Top Of The Food Chain-You successfully killed 20 players with a pistol in a ranked deathmatch-10G




It'll Cost Ya-You made a taxi trip from one island to another without skipping-5G




Pool Shark-You beat a friend at pool-10G





Fed The Fish-You completed the mission "Uncle Vlad"-5G





Driving Mr. Bellic-You unlocked the special ability of Roman's taxi-10G





One Hundred And Eighty-You scored 180 with 3 darts-10G




Warm Coffee-You were invited into your girlfriend's house-5G




Off The Boat-You have completed the first mission-5G




The day has come, and so have the sweet ch33v0z. GTA 4 is released and the ch33v0z are being harvested... slowly it seems. GTA 4 is handing out it's ch33v0z rather sparingly. The ones you do get in the beginning aren't worth a whole lot, but this is a nod to HOT COFFEE in there. It's a great game nonetheless, but this is THE CHEEVOLUTION!!!!

Mini games offer ch33vz that are folded into the normal gameplay. The Pool Shark ch33v0 only required that I win(a feat in itself) one game of pool. The One Hundred And Eighty cheev0 requires you to get 180 points with just three darts. After doing the math in my head(for about an hour) I figured out that you just need to hit the triple 20 score on the board three times in a row, just hit it HERE.

The It'll Cost Ya ch33v0 can't be unlocked until you have opened up at least one island in Liberty City. The first will be Bohan. Grab a taxi, set the destination and make sure you don't skip the ride. Takes a minute, but it's not bad. Get up, go do something... or enjoy the sights of Liberty City!

The two cheevos I unlocked for ranked multiplayer weren't that hard. You'll probably unlock both in your fist match, I did. Just choose or host a team death match, make sure it's set for more than 10 minutes. Now play. Your default gun is a pistol, so that's what you'll be doing most of your killing with. Once you hit 20, the Top Of The Food Chain ch33v unlocks, bada bing, bada boom. The Cut Your Teeth cheev will happen in the first or second ranked match.

That's your weekly recap. The ch33vz were sweet, and fresh... just how I like them. You'll excuse me if there isn't much diversity in the weeks to come, I have a suspicion that my ch33v0 glass will be full of GTA for a while. Speaking of that, is there a ch33v0 for killing hookers that you've paid for sex? Hmmm...