This Week In Ch33v0z, The Grand Theft Auto IV Edition

So it's not a big surprise, I've been playing Grand Theft Auto 4 all week. The game hasn't even left my disc drive, and I don't plan on taking it out anytime soon. I've done a lot with my time in Liberty City, I've done a lot of bad things there. I've picked up hookers, stolen hundreds of cars, sold drugs and other countless crimes. I've killed MANY people, I've murdered policeman, innocent women, and even one preacher (not before knocking the bible out of his hand). I've enjoyed every minute of it, and I've been rewarded with sweet cheev0z. Here is this weeks haul:

Grand Theft Auto IV

Courier Service-You completed all 10 package delivery jobs-10G





Impossible Trinity-You completed the mission "Museum Piece"-10G





Wheelie Rider-You completed a 500 foot wheelie on a motorbike-30G





Walk Free-You successfully lost a 4 star wanted rating-50G





One Man Army-You survived a 6 star wanted level for a full 5 minutes-40G





Full Exploration-You unlocked all the islands-20G





Retail Therapy-You unlocked the special ability of buying guns from Little Jacob-10G




As you can see from this weeks rather slim bounty, GTA4 doesn't exactly give up the sweet cheevs as well as some other games might, but it's a fun game and worth the effort. Most of the cheevos that I've unlocked can be acquired by normal play of the story mode.

One Man Army can be one of the hardest ch33v0z or one of the easiest ch33voz to gain. I guess that's all up to you. The game developers probably imagined you scoring this cheevo further along in the game, using all of your weaponry and skill to hold out against the entire police force. This video shows a way to accomplish it, rather early in the game and with limited weaponry, but still in a more traditional way. Of course, you can always do it the easy way (like me). Make sure you have at least one locked island (or load an early save). Head over to the helicopter tours, steal a chopper and fly into a locked zone. This well get you an instant 6 star wanted rating. Fly around for 5 minutes, and Voilà 40 point cheev unlocked. There are a few other ways, pick the one which suits you best.

Walk Free is a fun ch33v0, it involves getting the cops PISSED off and losing their asses with some sweet driving skills. You have to get a 4 star wanted level, which can itself be a difficult thing to do. The easiest and safest way to obtain an instant 4 star, is to make your way onto the tarmac of Francis International Airport in East Broker. As soon as you hit the runway, you get a four star rating, but you also get a great straight away to gain some speed. You can even lose the cops on this same runway! Here is a video for a little help.

Wheelie Rider is another relatively easy cheev that can also be done while at the airport. Basically you need to execute a 500 foot wheelie on a motorcycle. It's actually pretty easy, and can be done on a sport bike (pcj600) or on a scooter (faggio), but not on one of the Harley-style bikes(they won't do a wheelie, because they are for bitches!). Grab your bike or scooter and head over to the airport. Use that long runway and lack of traffic to get your wheelie just right. Don't mind the cops, they shouldn't cause too much trouble for you while on a bike. Quick tip if you are having trouble holding the wheelie: hold back on the stick, while pressing the gas intermittently. Here is another video for your viewing pleasure.

The rest are basic story plots and side missions that come with normal play, but these three will net you a hefty 120 points and can be done in about 5-10 minutes. Go forth and harvest.

That's pretty much it for this week, look forward to more ch33vz from GTA 4 and probably not much else. I'll try to get a little variety in there for you next week, but if you are playing GTA you know what a daunting, and unrealistic goal that is. Have fun and grind those ch33v0z!

The Devil Deals In Ch33v0s

As the first of my posts I would like to say "hi" to the two or three people who will see this blog about the most expensive and addictive thing since crack --the Ch33v0.

I have a love/hate relationship with the sweet, sweet Ch33v0. First of all, I love them because I love to get them. When that sweet little oval pops up, Jesus I get half a stalk! HOWEVER, I hate them because some of them are down right retarded.

Off the top of my head the Ch33v0 that tops the list of what we'll call "Dirka's Dumbass Ch33v0s" is Gears of War's Ch33v0 called "Seriously...". In this blatant attempt by Epic to keep nerds far away from the opposite sex, one must kill 10,000 people in versus ranked match. That is mind-numbingly retarded. I'm curious to see if anyone could put their Xbox through that type of torture without getting at least ONE Red Ring of Death. ALSO, it's an online Ch33v0 and I'll delve into that topic later.

Now I know that there is one person out there that would say, "that's because you're not good enough to get those Ch33v0s," (ZEBRA NINER) but I'm allowed my opinion.

All my posts won't be this Debbie Downer, but I need everyone to know that Ch33vos to me are a fickle bitch that have the ability to make you laugh hysterically in ecstasy one minute, but make you weep out of sheer frustration the next.