This Week In Ch33v0z, The Arduous Ch33v0 Edition

This week has been a doozy. Do people still say "doozy"? Anyway, I was able to squeeze out some more ch33v0z in the final days of my time with Burnout Paradise, thanks to a boosting buddy. I also received Lost: Via Domus from Gamefly, and I've been trudging my way through that game... slowly. Let's take a look, shall we? This week in cheevz, the brutal harvest.


Burnout Paradise

Party Crasher-Completed 25 online Challenges-15G






Online and Kicking-Completed 20 online Events-30G






Notorious-Sent 50 Camera Shots-20G






Online Champion-Won 10 online Races-20G





Join the Party-Completed 1 online Challenge-10G





Happy Snapper-Sent 5 Camera Shots-10G





Flying Colors-Got your A Class License-50G





Shopaholic-Found all Drive Thrus and Car Parks-10G





Paid and Displayed-Found all Car Parks-20G





Explorer-Found all Events-10G





Ahhh, Burnout... you did provide those last cheevz that I had forsaken. Entertaining game, but alas, not good enough to stave off the return to Gamefly. The cheevo machine keeps on a rollin', you can't stop progress. Now, I was able to scoop up a couple of "find the location" cheevz and also boost some multiplayer cheevoz with Mike53414.

Shopaholic, Paid and Displayed, and Explorer(click one for it's map) all involve driving around and finding events, parking garages, and drive-thrus. I found some sweet maps that made this possible, and it doesn't take too long to get these done.
Happy Snapper and Notorious kind of suck, because you need the Xbox Live Vision camera attached. If you don't have a camera, you don't have these cheevs. Basically, you have to let someone get a take down on you 5 and then 50 times, respectively.

Online Champion and Online And Kicking are time consuming... more than they should be. You only need one other person, but actually setting up the events takes longer than said event. Quickest way to get these, set up a short race and just get it done. Make sure to edit the start of the race and the finish... get them as close together as possible to make this quick.

Join The Party and Party Crasher were actually the most fun I had in this game. This is the most fun mode of the game, if you have a buddy to play with. It involves you and the other players(up to 8) completing specific task. For example: head on collision mid air while jumping over a bridge! w00t to that. Anyway, complete 1 and 25, respectively.

Lost: Via Domus


Persephone-Discover all the memories in Flashback 5-30G






Into the hatch-Complete Episode 4-75G






Desmond's Past-Photograph: Kelvin's jump suit Medical cabinet with vaccines Desmond's mural-10G





A Turn of the Screw-Photograph A Turn of the Screw-10G






Radzinsky-Photograph bloodstain on the Swan ceiling-15G






Button pusher-Enter the numbers-15G






Identity crisis-Discover all the memories in Flashback 4-30G






Medical Station-Photograph Medical Station emblem-20G






Castaways' Treasures-Photograph: 1- Kate's plane 2- Charlie's guitar 3- Locke's wheelchair-10G





Via Domus-Complete Episode 3-50G






Beam of light-Photograph beam of light coming from the hatch-20G






4 8 15 16 23 42-Photograph numbers on sealed hatch-15G






Blackmailer-Convince Locke to help-15G






Behind the glass-Discover all the memories in Flashback 3-20G






Locate the cockpit-Complete Episode 2-25G






Sweet memory-Discover all the memories in Flashback 2-20G






Crash survivor-Complete Episode 1-25G






Save the castaways-Prevent the fuel leak from igniting-15G






815-Discover all the memories in Flashback 1-20G






Lost: Via Domus is... How can I put this? Crap. Hmmm, no... that's not it. It's total shit wrapped in bad gameplay, with some fucking stupid-ass story sprinkled on top. Seriously, it sucks. The graphics are ok. The character models range from "life-like" to "stick figure", but at least the environment is nice.

The story might make sense to fans of the show, but if you are playing this game as a new comer, it's retarded. Also, it's entirely possible to play through the entire game by doing the bare minimum, but in doing so key plot details get left out. So, it's like watching 10 minutes of a 2 hour movie. You'll know the title, and what the general idea behind it is... but you'll be completely LOST... I wish the pun was intended.

I'm slowly working my way through this game, one hour per night, which means I'll have it done in another 3 days or so. The only positive thing about this game? The easy and totally sweet cheevoz. I completely expect to get a full 1000 points. I should get an extra cheevo for actually putting up with this fucking shitty game.

Anyway, all I'm going to tell you about this game's ch33vz is that with each chapter completed the cheev score increases. So by the end, the final chapter is worth 200 points. If you need some help working your way through this fucking train wreck... plane crash... click this link and someone else will do all the work for me. Oh, and speaking of lazy, have you had a look at the picture tiles for the cheevos? There are 4 different cheevo tiles, THAT is LAZY! The pics for cheevs is half the fun! This game has a total of 4 that are used over and over. The silver suitcase, the gold book, and the gold or silver camera.

So that's it for this week. I've been really busy, but the ch33v0 work is paying off... that's right, I broke 25,000 points this week! w00t! Well on my way to 30,000 and beyond! With the departure of Burnout, be on the lookout for new Gamefly offerings. I'm hoping for Viking or Conan, but either way there will be cheevz. Also, keep an eye out for the conclusion of the Lost: Via Domus cheev-grab. I plan to have that fully completed and out of my life forever by next week. Keep your eyes on the prize people.

This Week In Ch33v0z, The Mixed Bag Edition Part 2

The obsession continues. Ch33v0z are a callin' and I'm answering that call. We've got a new game this week! Plus I finished up the boost-a-thon that was TimeShift Multiplayer. I worked some co-op cheevz this week, and locked up a ton of the sweetest ch330vz!



Mutant Storm Empire


Empire World 4-Complete World 4 on any difficulty-20G





Empire World 3-Complete World 3 on any difficulty-15G





Empire World 2-Complete World 2 on any difficulty-10G





Empire World 1-Complete World 1 on any difficulty-10G





2x Multiplier-Get the multiplier to x2 in Single Player-5G





Empire Level 1-Complete Level 1 on any difficulty-5G





Beastie Combo-Get a Beastie Combo by shooting a certain amount of only 1 type of beastie-5G




Mutant Storm goodness! That's right, I bought another Mutant Storm game! It's great! Classic arcade style top-down shooter, with online co-op (Now I just need some friends that will plop down the 800 MS points to play it with me). It's a lot of fun, and looks great.

Empire World 1-4 are pretty simple, just beat each of the 4 levels in each world. You can put the difficulty to easy, and still get the cheevoz.

Beastie Combo isn't hard, it's just not explained very well. Each enemy or "beastie" has a combo number. So, if you shoot one of the purple enemies in the very first section of the game, a number will pop up at the top of the screen. For example, after killing one of the purple beasties, the number 7 will pop up. That means you have to kill 7 more enemies of that color and type. As you kill them the number will drop. Use caution to avoid other beasties, killing a different beastie before reaching your goal number will void your attempt.

Empire Level 1 is the easiest of the ch33v0z. You'll get this one for completing the first level of the first world.


Schizoid


Seafood Buffet-Destroy 2500 Scorpios-20G





One Mind, Two Goals-Earn 20 silver or gold medals in Uberschizoid mode-20G




This is a great game, I can't say it enough. Uberschizoid mode is ridiculously hard but the challenge is fun. At press time, I'm ranked 109th in the world at Uberschizoid! w00t! I have been ranked as low as 83rd. On to the cheevz.

One Mind, Two Goals is a pretty difficult cheevo, but not entirely unattainable. You just have to get 20 medals in the uberschizoid mode. Bronze, silver or gold... any combination thereof.

Seafood Buffet will just happen with time. It actually shouldn't take you too long. Just play.


ASSAULT HEROES


Twin Medal-Finish a zone in Co-op mode-20G





Speed Freak-Finish a zone in less than 15 minutes-20G




Twin Medal and Speed Freak can both be done on the first level. Just get a buddy to play through with you and don't dilly-dally, you'll have these two in a snap!

Burnout Paradise


Online Racer-Completed an online Race-10G





Criterion Fever-Caught Criterion Fever-20G





Just for Pics-Made Your First online Rival-10G





I'm sad to say, but Burnout is about at it's end of usefulness for my cheev harvest. There comes a time when you have to weigh out the pros vs. the cons. It's really a ch33v0/time invested ratio. I've snagged all the cheevz that this game warrants, if I want to get anymore I'll have to put some serious time into this game and I just don't like it enough to do that. Don't cry though, it's going to a better place... returned to Gamefly. I will give it another once over and possibly scoop up a couple more.

Online cheevz where the flavor of the week. These all took about 10 minutes, and should be easy to get.

Online Racer basically just completing one race. Easy enough.

Just For Pics is making a rival. So, basically someone has to crash into you and get a takedown, they also have to have a camera attached. It happened to me while I wasn't paying attention.

Criterion Fever is a "Viral cheevo" which means that you spread it. So, I took down a person that had the cheevo, and therefore was awarded the same cheev. Now if someone takes me down, they'll get it... and so on, and so on.

TIMESHIFT

TimeShift Champion-Won 100 multiplayer games-50G





TimeShift Veteran-Played 100 multiplayer games-25G





Did I Do That?-Scored a Fury Kill-30G





Have It Your Way-Hosted and completed 10 games with custom presets-10G





MVP-Captured 25 flags in Capture the Flag-20G





Are You Cheating?-Score 30 headshots with any weapon in multiplayer games-20G





Boy in the Bubble-Scored 30 kills while trapped in a Time Grenade-30G





Yoink!-Retrieved 50 flags in Capture the Flag-20G





…Is On Your Side-Killed 50 opponents in Time Grenades or Time Fields-25G





Anytime, Anyplace-Won a Ranked match on every map-25G





Jack of All Frags-Won a Ranked match in every game mode-25G





Nuclear Winter Wonderland-Won a Ranked Meltdown Madness game by at least 30 seconds-25G





King Me!-Won a Ranked King of Time game by at least 5 points-25G






It's time to bid a fond farewell to TimeShift, for it's been sent back to Gamefly! I'll always remember the good times. The action packed, challenging, and very fun single player... and the hours of boosting multiplayer! Memories... misty water colored memories!!! Ok, I've gotten something in my eye... let's get to the cheevz.

Ok, lots of these are pretty well described in the cheevo descriptions. The user interface for setting up matches kind of blows, so getting this all down to a science is going to take a while. First thing you'll need to know is that you need a partner for boosting. Just one person will do!

Anytime, Anyplace and Jack Of All Frags should be done first. Piece of advice, write down all the maps and whether you've played on them or not. Going back and replaying maps that you "think you've played" blows. Get it done right the first time and write it down! You'll also want to make the score level (that's the number you need to hit to WIN the match) at 1. There are a total of 14 maps with the standard disc and 6 different gametypes. Have at it folks.

... Is On Your Side, Boy In The Bubble, and Are You Cheating? should be done in conjunction. Here is the most effecient way to do it: Throw a time grenade and step inside the time bubble, go for a head shot. Wash, rinse, reapeat. You can also other cheevz like Yoink! into the mix.

Have It Your Way is easy, but you must remember that the matches have to be "player matches" and not "ranked matches".

Did I Do That? is the hardest cheevo in the multiplayer, even if you are boosting(unless you have 5 other people playing TimeShift, in which case you should call Guiness World Records... because that's got to be some kind of milestone). You have to get a fury kill. That is 5 kills in 15 seconds. With two people it's doable, and the game will notify you of your progress as you are getting kills.

With two people this can be done on the first map (MP1). You have to set the kills to "instakill" and set the respawn to instant. Also, make the starting weapon the carbine. The player getting the kills will stand in the small room along the wall... it has a red light and a ladder. Face your character to the end of the alley. The second player will walk to the entrance of that alley, and you will shoot him as soon as he comes into view. Set your score to win at 25 or so. Good Luck.

You should also keep in mind that each of these games played will count to your TimeShift Veteran and TimeShift Champion cheevos. Once you have reached all other goals, set up a small map (MP1) and set the score to win at 1, with instakills and no warmup. This will expedite your win numbers.

Well, as you can see the the Ch33v-rush continues. I'm doing what I can, and getting cheevz in the process! Look for new games next week, both in the arcade and from Gamefly! I've got my eye on Lost Via Domus, because I've heard it's a quick and dirty 1000 points! Keep your eyes open cheevo miners, thar be ch33vz en them thar hills!